feeling like a screw up and a failure. sorry but it's true...

I am really sorry you're going through this.  One of the most frustrating times in my life was when I couldn't get anyone to listen to me that something was wrong (poo poo on all of them, because turns out something was VERY wrong and I could have DIED had I stopped insisting something was wrong...grrrrr) so I know at least a little bit of how you feel. About the "full of crap"....This may not be it, I totally believe that you know your own body...BUT I thought I was having normal enough of BM's, and really, I wasn't.  I was SO backed up and my colon so swollen, that I was starting to get intermittent fevers from it.  And the whole time I was having periodic BM's, so I figured that couldn't be it, but it was.   I know you've probably gotten a thousand home remidies for constipation, but I'm going to give you one more because I tried them all and this was the only thing that worked, so maybe this'll do it for you.  Go to Wal-Mart or whatever pharmacy you are by and get a 10oz bottle of Magnesium Citrate.  Drink it and a good 10-12 oz of water in an hour.  I pooped for HOURS.  I was exhausted by the time it was all over - and down 4 pounds.  Try it if you haven't already, and this way you can tell your PCP that you have tried it on top of everything else you've done to relieve constipation.   No matter what don't give up.  If you KNOW something is wrong - keep insisting they look into it.  It stinks you have to wait until February for this exploratory surgery.  I pray they can find whatever is wrong by then and that it is easily fixed! 

Hi hun. I cannot offer much advice or words of wisdom (my wisdom is on vacation this week along with my common sense, I think there having an affiar) But i can offer an ear to listen! I am so sorry your so sad! You look fantastic, really you do and if your Doc's can't pull thier heads out of thier butts maybe you coudl see a new doc.

 

-hugs- 

Girl, you KNOW something is wrong...they are not listening... will your ins. allow you to self refer to a specialist?...can you bug your PCP to send you to SOMEONE else who will look at you now??... trust your gut (bad pun...sorry)...you know it's something more... sorry you're being treated like this...it's scary and unfair that they have no sense of urgency over your discomfort... *hug* xxxBecca

When we don't feel well (and add to the fact that your PCP leaves something to be desired as far as bed side manner goes) everything is amplified. Try and take things one day at a time and focus in on how far you have come. Look at your B&A photos. They are amazing.

Smile pal. Brighter days will be ahead.

~Michelle P.S. Have you tried Miralax (good stuff) after my plastics I needed it bad. A few days and... BINGO. LOL.

Sorry to hear your having a rough time. Your not a failure or a screw up at all. I hope you can get through this rough time and I know you will. You have a great family here the will keep you in our hearts. It will get better I promise.

It was interesting that you just see this bulge but don't necessarily have pain.  Often women have this with uterine fibroids.  I don't know how old you are but fibroids are common and if they're not pressing on anything and you're not pressing on them you may go along quite nicely.  Since your ob-gyn is doing a laparoscopy then that seems like the perfect solution.  She'll(he?) get a nice look at everything and be able to more easily answer your questions.  If you had an ultrasound (and I can't imagine an ob-gyn just going in without any prior studies), a fibroid (especially a big one) would show up on that.  If you haven't had any non-invasive studies, then maybe you might want to request one prior to surgery. it only makes sense.  I'm just not seeing the whole ob-gyn story.  They usually have a fair idea of what they'll find before they go in.  But, anyway, that seems like the next best step, so try to be patient for a couple of weeks.  Good Luck.  (and yes, please be careful with the dulcolax etc...)

 I am so so sorry you are upset. Maybe getting a second opinion is the right thing to do. HOW darn the professionals not treat you better..... YES you could be packed but no one knows your body better than you...... INSIST on a scan or something to get to the bottom of this..... even if it turns out to be CRAP make them show you!  Big (((((HUGS))))) Leticia

Wow hon, you are having a crappy day... (sorry, pun intended). I really am sorry to hear that they are being retarded about it.  Maybe its time to find a new PCM, one that will listen to you and take it seriously.  They should at least do some sort of test to determine if you have a hernia or something... I have no idea what could be causing the hardness.  As for the D ans B12 being low... do you use sublingual B12?  Also, as hard as it is to do in the winter, getting more sunlight is good for your vit D... I sure hope you feel better soon, and get the mystery solved.  Many hugs to you!!!

*****BIG HUGE HUGS******  Honey, there is no way that you are eating "too much." You know that is bull****  You also know that the vitamin routine is bull**** Plenty of people get by beautifully on any of a bazillion other brands of vitamins. And if you puke 'em up, they don't get absorbed anyhow. Have you posted to/PM'ed Vitalady here? I'm sure she'll be happy to give her insights on the subject.  I'd be totally freaking out if I were waiting on an exploratory female procedure, too. There's nothing like an unknown lump, especially a big one, to terrify a person. The waiting is awful. Please don't discount this and the effect it has on your emotions, ability to function, ability to eat, etc.  If you feel like this might be getting worse, you need to call your ob/gyn doc and see about getting it done sooner if indicated.  Hang in there hon. I'm pulling for you.